


Can we talk about it

by FerretInTheRoom



Category: Harley Quinn (Cartoon 2019)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Not Beta Read, Poor Harley, lots of swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-23
Updated: 2020-05-23
Packaged: 2021-03-02 20:14:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,093
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24332635
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FerretInTheRoom/pseuds/FerretInTheRoom
Summary: Ivy's thoughts during 'Inner (Para) Demons'.Companion piece to S02xE08.
Relationships: Pamela Isley/Harleen Quinzel
Comments: 18
Kudos: 137





	Can we talk about it

**Author's Note:**

> Because I had to do something to make me feel like Ivy wasn't just acting like a nincompoop the whole episode...
> 
> Additional note as someone mentioned it:  
> All dialogue in quotes was taken verbatim from the show (except for like three lines). The fic is about the thought process behind those words.

A quick patter of steps approached the couch Ivy was sitting on as she idly held a steaming cup of coffee. She took a sip, expecting…waiting for the person in question to say something. Why _else_ would you be approaching a person obviously immersed in their own _really fucked up_ thoughts? Instead, she heard the unmistakable shuffle of a deft retreat.

Mentally rolling her eyes, Ivy prepared for said person to gather their courage again. Sure enough, as soon as she took another swig of the coffee, the tell-tale sound quickly returned.

Ivy paused a moment; would Harley say anything? A couple of seconds -- and the unmistakable ‘ _swish’_ of someone turning around – put a nail in _that_ coffin.

Guess it’d have to be Ivy to bring _that moment_ up. Why was she surprised.

“Harls,” she intoned, carefully neutral. “If we’re going to talk about it…” She glanced at Harley before averting her eyes off to the side. “Let’s just talk about it.”

Who was she kidding? Talking about this was the absolute last thing Ivy wanted to do. But Harley was like an un-relenting toddler who had tasted sugar for the first time and seemed unable to let _that…thing…_ go.

“Pssh, if you want to, I guess I could, yea.” The words practically spilled out of Harley’s mouth. Ivy would have smiled – _Harley_ totally _wanted to talk about it_ – if the topic of the moment was not such a clusterfuck, to say the least.

“That was…” Harley paused, leaving Ivy with a dull feeling of trepidation. What exactly was she going to say? “…crazy, right?”

Ivy chuckled in relief. “So crazy!”

“I’ve been thinking about it a lot…”

Ivy’s eyes widened, almost imperceptibly, in horror. Oh _no, no, no, no…Harley, you don’t want to stir up this hornet’s nest. You’re just…you’re just confused, you don’t have any feelings involved. Not like m-_

_What?_

“…and I think it was –”

Ivy couldn’t let Harley finish that thought. “An impetuous, spur of the moment thing.” She tried to ignore the way her voice lilted at the end of her statement. Like she didn’t even believe it. “You know?”

_Like…of course she believed it. That’s all it was. It was only…_

“Yes…” Ivy chose to ignore the way Harley’s entire body drooped with her reply, like said toddler being told there was no more sugar in the entire building. Ivy decidedly ignored the small pang in her heart and redirected her eyes to stare into the brown pool of her mug.

“It was the adrenaline of escaping, you know?” At this point, it was unclear exactly who she was trying to convince. “I just think it went to our heads.”

“Hundred percent,” Harley agreed almost too quickly.

Ivy finally put her mug down, meeting Harley’s eyes. “We weren’t really thinking. You know?” She drowned her voice in conviction, willing Harley to believe it. Willing herself to believe it.

Harley threw out her arms and plastered a wide smile on her face. “It’s so weird and uncanny,” Harley vaulted herself over the couch. “How you just said everything I was going to say.”

 _Oh boy. Of all the people she killed….the lives she ruined, why did manipulating Harley into pushing a stupid_ thing _under the rug make Ivy feel like it was the absolute scummiest thing she had ever done?_

As Harley grinned at her with her arms casually tucked behind her head, Ivy pushed her conscience out of her head completely.

She gazed out into the distance. “I think we just chalk it up to a crazy moment where something crazy happened.” She glanced at Harley. “You know what I mean? I mean, that’s it.”

_Please. Please, drop it Harley. You don’t want any of this. You’re just a kid who’s tasted candy for the first time…you don’t know you’re going to get sick of it. You’re fucking allergic, Harley. You’re a kid that’s allergic to sugar._

“Totally.” Harley’s hands were out to the sky. “Totally! It was so me!” The smaller woman got up and started pacing. “It was Harley Quinn, always doing crazy things.”

 _Oh boy, what had she done._ Ivy said nothing but watched her tainted words start to shape Harley’s actions.

“Always being impetuous!” Ivy zoned out in horror. _Was being ‘impetuous’ going to be a thing now?_ “Hey! Always kissing people.” Ivy jerked her head back towards Harley. _What was she…_

 _Oh shit,_ Ivy watched dumbstruck as Harley lifted Psycho into the air. He promptly dropped his freshly warmed burrito in shock.

“Muuuah!”

Ivy wasn’t processing what was happening. This did not compute.

“Ugh!” Psycho shoved Harley away, dropping to the floor. “Disgusting!” he retorted, picking himself up. Ivy glared at him. _It was more disgusting she kissed_ you _, you pint-sized misogynist._ “You’re not my type!”

“Harley,” Ivy narrowed her eyes and decided to just not talk about Harley kissing the most un-kissable person in the room. “Are you sure you’re cool, or…” _are you going to start making this a ‘new thing’._

“Yes! I swear to you. I’m cool. I’m just…” Ivy watched Harley sit on the table next to their picture. “We are cool.”

“Ugh, great. I’m just glad we’re on the same page.” Ivy brought her face closer to Harley’s as she smiled at her. “I mean, I’m getting married to Kite Man soon. You know, so I gotta focus on that,” she murmured as she pulled away.

“Obvs! Yeah, I’m super busy too. I’m like planning my next move. So many moves. All…”

Ivy could’ve laughed. Harley obviously had absolutely no idea what she was going to do next. But Ivy appreciated the sentiment; Harley was just trying to show her that she had moved on.

“Almost too many moves! Wow, look at that…” Ivy followed Harley’s gaze as she glanced down at her _notably bare_ wrist. “I’m actually late to a move planning meeting.” Harley turned her back towards Ivy, still using the coffee table as a makeshift bench.

Ivy almost rolled her eyes for the umpteenth time. _Harley, you’re not even wearing a watch_.

“Oh, this is so. good.” Ivy uttered. _I’ll let you have your impromptu “move planning meeting.” As long as we can never speak of this matter again. Ever._

“Harley, I’m just glad we talked about this,” Ivy continued. She pointedly ignored the small voice (which was starting to suspiciously sound a lot like Frank) in the back of her head screaming that she actually hadn’t let Harley talk about anything.

“And I would never want anything to mess up our friendship, you know?”

“Yes, totally.” Harley turned back towards her taller friend. “Yeah, especially not over some kiss that, you know, didn’t even mean anything.” Harley chuckled awkwardly. “Are you going to tell Kite Man?”

Ivy’s eyes widened in horror.

“Uh, it’s honestly not worth mentioning Harls.” She tried to pretend she didn’t notice the flash of hurt that flitted across Harley’s face.

 _Ah, you’re such an asshole,_ that stupid, self-righteous Frank-voice popped up again. _You’re hurting her…just like the Joker did._

\--

“How could you do this to me?” Kite Man cried, pacing back and forth in his apartment.

“Look, I meant to call for a reservation and stuff came up.”

_Harley came up._

“I said I’m sorry,” she looked up at Kite Man, imploringly.

“Sorry doesn’t get us a table at Senor Mexico’s authentic Mexican adobe house, which is my parent’s favorite brunch spot in all of Gotham!” His voice got shrill towards the end as he buried his face in his hands, unleashing his kite. The distinct sound of a vase breaking soon followed.

Ivy looked at him apologetically before averting her eyes to the ground.

“Babe, you all right?”

 _No. I kissed my best friend,_ “I’m…” _and manipulated her into dropping the whole affair._ “I’m just…” _And now, I’m sitting here practically lying to you._ “It’s…” _Because as much as I want to believe it…I don’t know if I can really chalk up that moment to being a spur of the moment thing._ “I’ve got a lot on my mind right now.” _At least...not for me._

Kite Man knelt down next to her, putting a hand in her lap. “Hey. I’m sorry for putting so much pressure on you. It’s just…”

Kite Man continued his small monologue. Ivy smiled and nodded, responding as appropriate for a fiancée madly in love with her significant other. She decided to push _that_ memory to the distant corner of her mind. From now on, Ivy would make it up to Charles. She’d throw in everything for this relationship.

 _You’re not a coward,_ Inner-Frank murmured, ominously. _So why are you acting like one?_

And then he was silent.

\--

Ivy was doing pretty-damn well with the whole _doting fianceé_ gig and everything. She impressed Kite Man’s parents. Sure, she maybe then proceeded to chew out said parents when they turned out to be massive dick wads…But that was beside the point!

All that mattered was that she was the perfect, caring fiancée. And _the-moment-which-we-do-not-speak-of_ was all but forgotten.

That was…until a massive _boom_ in the distance interrupted her moment with Charles.

“Oh wait. Wait, wait, wait. Hold on. Is that a Boom Tube?” She pulled apart from him, staring up and out into the distance.

“Uh. Sorry, just got excited and…” Kite Man chuckled sheepishly.

Ivy glanced at him. “No baby, not that.” She looked back towards the sky and pointed. “That!”

Kite Man continued to babble about the portal off in the distance, but Ivy didn’t hear a word he said.

“Harley,” she breathed out in horror. _Oh shit, what has she done._

 _Go fucking fix it._ Glad to see inner-Frank return with such an enlightening statement. 

_No shit, Sherlock,_ Ivy retorted to….herself.

_Oh Mother Nature, I’m going crazy._

In the midst of her internal psychobabble, Ivy must have communicated _‘we need to go’_ to Kite Man or he must have read her mind or _something_ because suddenly Ivy found herself surrounded by wall high flames and guts galore as demons ripped human after human into shreds.

Ivy was no stranger to dead bodies, but the carnage was sickening even to someone with her colorful past.

_Harley…where are you?_

The flames licked at her feet and Ivy knew on some intellectual level that her being here was _extremely_ stupid. Fire killed plants. Not even _she_ could come out from being charbroiled alive. She honestly had little hope of getting out of this place in lieu of Charles, who she had left behind in order to find…

“Harley!”

The woman in question was laughing hysterically while towering over a fallen Gordon with a glowing scepter. On hearing her name, Harley paused and took a step back from dealing the seemingly final blow. She looked over at Ivy.

“What the hell is going on here?” Ivy asked, carefully navigating to less fire-wrecked grounds as she made her way towards the supervillain.

“Yea, while you were out getting brunch,” It’s funny, but it wasn’t until that moment that Ivy really noticed Harley’s outfit. _A cape, just like Superman._ “I was beating up an old lady to get a Parademon army from another galaxy.” Harley spilled the day’s happenings with a wild glint in her eye.

_What the fuck?_

“You beat up an old lady?”

_Take that back, definitely not Superman._

“She was super jacked!”

_How does that make it any better…fuck. This...couldn’t…have been a result of their conversation this morning?_

Ivy mentally shook herself. _No, that’s ridiculous._

Once again, Ivy chose to ignore inner-Frank who had taken to laughing hysterically over her denial.

“And now I’m going to take over all of Gotham!”

 _Oh god, Harley had_ so _become the toddler that screams and wrecks fucking mayhem until he’s given enough sugar to put him comatose for weeks. Even if he had a fucking allergy!_

“So what, you really just want to kill thousands of people just because?”

Ivy had to at least _try_ and talk some reason into the woman.

“Because I’m Harley fucking Quinn!”

Ivy stared at her in disbelief.

“I’m always doing crazy things!”

_Oh god, this was related to their conversation this morning._

_Please don’t say it._

“Always being impetuous, you know?”

_Oh no. No. Don’t say it._

_Don’t –_

“Always kissing people and shit!”

 _Told ya so,_ ~~her conscience~~ inner-Frank dryly intoned. _You did this._

“This is just my Wednesday.” Harley retorted, crossing her arms smugly.

_Harley, you’re better than this._

“Yeah. It’s actually Thursday...” Ivy closed her eyes. This was not the time to be correcting semantics.

“Anyways, look. You know me, I mean, I’m ride or die, but…” She opened her eyes and took in the bloodbath behind Harley.

“I mean, is this really the ride you envisioned?”

_This isn’t you Harley._

She tried not to get her hopes up as Harley moved to look around at the chaos she had brought forth; the Parademons flying around them, the spilled blood, the dying screams of the masses.

“Uh, not exactly.” Harley cast her eyes downward.

Ivy breathed a low sigh of relief.

“What’s the endgame?” Ivy probed, beseechingly. _Come on Harley, it’s not this._

“What do you really want?”

_I thought you wanted everyone to be free, Harley. Isn’t that what you always said? Anarchy and sushi?_

Harley stared back at her, her face a blank slate.

A moment passed and Harley glanced off to the side as something seemed to click. It almost looked as if the hammer-wielding woman shed some tears, but Ivy was too far away ( _and the flames were too fucking strong_ ) for her to be sure.

“What the hell are you doing!?” Ivy looked up to see Psycho screeching bloody murder from the back of a Parademon.

There was the sound of a snap as Ivy’s gaze was wrested back down to see the scepter momentarily in two pieces on the ground before it dissolved into ash. Ivy looked on in sheer relief as her friend returned to normal and the Parademons went screeching back to the hell from which they came.

“City’s yours, Gordo,” Harley dimly said, walking passed him and staring out into the distance.

“I know what I want, and it’s not this.”

Ivy gave her friend a half smile as she watched Harley come to terms with herself.

Only one thing kept gnawing at Ivy’s conscience.

_If you know what you want, why do you seem so sad?_

Ivy could hear Psycho continuing to shriek obscenities in the background – probably about Harley giving up world domination, but really…who gives a fuck – and Gordon cheering on his blood-bathed victory right next to them, but her eyes were glued to the woman walking slowly towards her. Harley paused mere inches away. The bloodied cries of the dying and the damned, the flames….all of these sounds died down until it was silent. Just her and Harley.

“Look, I can explain the whole _Game of Thrones_ Khaleesi thing, okay.” Harley shut her eyes, and Ivy could do nothing but watch as the woman tried to explain herself. “All…all this,” Harley opened her eyes and met Ivy’s gaze directly. “Has just been me avoiding something that I need to talk to you about.”

 _I told you so, I told you so, I told—_ Inner-Frank let out a squawk of protest as something else in her head decided to smother him.

Harley’s face crumpled. “…and if I don’t do it now, it will be too late.”

“Look,” Ivy let out a deep sigh. This was stupid, she shouldn’t have tried to avoid this conversation in the first place. Of course, it’d fuck Harley up. She hadn’t meant to confuse Harley; she had just meant to avoid…

 _Avoid what exactly?_ Fuck, that wasn’t even inner-Frank asking the question. He had apparently been taken care of.

“If you really need to say it, just –”

“Harley!” Ivy’s eyebrows shot up as she felt firm hands grip her shoulders. _Oh._

“Cool Parademons. Hey!” That’s right. She loved…Charles. “Did Ivy tell you what she just did?” She definitely loved Charles. 100%. Completely. “How she’s the coolest, hottest fiancée a regular guy with superpowers like me could ever ask for?”

_She loved Charles._

_Pfft—_ a low voice croaked. Somehow, inner-Frank was still alive. Ivy chose to ignore him once again. She tipped Kite Man’s chin towards her.

“Well, I mean, I wasn’t just gonna sit there and watch your parents be assholes to the man…” _Not person, i_ nner-Frank singsonged and then promptly yelped. Apparently, his attempted murderer had found him and resumed the chase. “…that I want to spend the rest of my life with.”

And then, as if to seal-the-deal on convincing herself ( _and shutting up Inner-Frank if his attempted murderer couldn’t graduate to losing the qualifier_ ), she placed a swift kiss on his lips. They broke apart as some squeaking in the background commanded Kite Man’s attention.

“Oh buddy! Those Parademons are dry humping a taco truck.” Ivy’s eyes widened in amusement. “I’m gonna go snap a pic for Insta.”

“Ah, man.” Ivy said, closing her eyes before glancing up towards Harley. “I love that idiot.”

 _Was that statement for Harley? Or for you?_ Inner-Frank seemed to be out of breath, having beaten death twice now. _You were always a shit liar, Pammy._

Ivy decided best course of action was to completely tune out the stupid plant-conscience. Even in her imagination, he was annoying as fuck.

 _But just as right_ , inner-Frank retorted.

“What were you gonna tell me, Harls?” The other woman had retreated further away during Ivy’s conversation with Kite Man and now had her back turned on her friend.

“Um…”

 _Why the hell are you playing dumb._ Inner-Frank was getting really fucking annoying and honestly starting to get on her last nerve.

“We need to talk about…” Harley awkwardly turned towards her, spreading her arms wide.

“What you wanna do for your bachelorette party!”

Ivy’s eyebrows furrowed. “Really? That’s what you wanted to tell me?”

 _What the fuck, you know it’s not. Say something!_ God, inner-Frank was shrieking so loudly he could have a second-life as a banshee.

“Ye-ah!” Harley smiled, arms still in the air.

And Ivy pretended to ignore the tell-tale crack in the twin-tail’s voice and the forced smile plastered across her face.

And she most blatantly ignored inner-Frank throwing a complete hissy fit on all of the above.

_You know she wanted to talk about the ki—_

“Sure Harls, we can talk about it.”

**Author's Note:**

> This cartoon is honestly really well done...for every episode, there's about 10 different fics that would be perfect for it.
> 
> dunno what i'll do if it's not renewed.


End file.
